Little apparent gain or impact

July 15, 2008

I have a book of reflections by Thomas Merton, A Book of Hours, with the following quote on page 100:

I think what I need to learn is an almost infinite tolerance and compassion because negative thought gets nowhere. I am beginning to think that in our time we will correct almost nothing, and get almost nowhere; but if we can just prepare a compassionate and receptive soil for the future, we will have done a great work. I feel at least that this is the turn my own life ought to take. (an excerpt from A Hidden Ground of Love)

This statement has a sense of futility wrapped within a determination to do what one can in spite of little apparent gain or impact. It is a very “now” way of viewing life, that what we should do for others  is important in and of itself without needing an obvious and long-lasting impact.

As I drive home from the prison each week, there is a definite wondering, What good will that trip have done? But that isn’t for me to say, really. Since I’m not in one of those cells all alone, how can I even begin to assess what a knock on the door, and a conversation about good things, means to the person inside. I do know that a man last week did say, “I can’t believe this is happening. That you came here, and we are having this conversation.”

Where is God in this?

July 12, 2008

Today, I sent the following letter to the National Catholic Reporter:

On July 11, The St. Louis Review posted a full page “Decree of Extra-judicial Adjudication in the matter of Sister Louise Lears, S.C.” A full page! I can only assume the pillory couldn’t be located in the undercroft of the Cathedral. How embarrassing for the Church and unbefitting of the role of shepherd. Where is God in this?

Does it ever occur to the hierarchy of the Roman Church that Jesus wasn’t using the Pharisees as a reference for someone else? He was always and everywhere cautioning against our own inclinations to put dogma and doctrine before people, to think that “being right” trumps being “loving.”  In this posting of the decree, it’s the legalism to the point of public humiliation and diminishment of a child of God that verges on being highly immoral.

When I look at the decree, I am sure the Jesus I have come to know and reside with is appalled! I invite all who can, to find the opportunity to meet and get to know Louise. Just being with her and working with her, as I have, is to know the life-giving power of God’s grace. And I can say the same for our former Archbishop Raymond Burke, a very humble and loving man. But something gets a little askew when one thinks that Canon Law and Jesus’ teachings are one and the same. Throughout history, the best of men have become overzealous and hurt members of the Body of Christ. The decree was enough; the posting was unkind.

Nevertheless, I love that flag

July 3, 2008

Tuesday I put out our flag for the rest of the week and through Sunday. What a glorious sight, the red, white and blue against the green of the oak tree and the clear blue sky. It is doubtful that I will ever tire of seeing our country’s flag hoisted aloft into the breeze.

I wonder, though, how the sight of our nation’s symbol could have taken on such a distaste for me following 9/11 when one could find it plastered everywhere. Oh, how I wish the flag had been displayed out of a sense of patriotism. But the patriots I knew weren’t brandishing the flag anywhere and everywhere. Instead, I perceived the flag’s being displayed out of a selfish vengeance, out of a “you-can’t-do-that-to-us because we are the leader of the free world” mentality. People seemed to be in a mood to form a posse rather than ask any critical questions about why such a thing as the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon could have happened. Everywhere you looked, God was being asked to bless our sense of outrage.

Afghanistan I could understand, sort of. But it is a mystery as to why we didn’t listen to other countries prior to starting the Iraq war. We have a couple of buildings knocked down and go absolutely nuts. Those who have had thousands of buildings bombed and destroyed, have had hundreds of thousands of their civilians killed, have invaded and been invaded, have occupied and been occupied, were simply blown off as being unaware of the dangers of today’s world. Who turned out to be the ones unaware? We acted like a spoiled person of privilege who might think it appropriate to burn down a neighbor’s house full of people because one of their kids did a lawn job on some new zoysia. No understanding, no proportionality, no seeking of advice, just thoughtless revenge and indifference to what might follow.

How did we get into this? I’m reminded of a quote from Bruce Catton’s This Hallowed Ground as the drumbeat to war was unfolding in the 1850s:

There is a rowdy strain in American life, living close to the surface but running very deep. Like an ape behind a mask, it can display itself suddenly with terrifying effect. It is slack-jawed, with leering eyes and loose wet lips, with heavy feet and ponderous cunning hands; now and then, when something tickles it, it guffaws, and when it is made angry it snarls; and it can be aroused much more easily than it can be quieted. … and when it comes lumbering forth it can make the whole country step in time to its own frantic irregular pulse-beat.

History has quite a sense of humor to have all this going on at a time when the Oval Office is devoid of any wisdom or sensibilities. Meanwhile, the Congress simply nods away as though mindless of all that America had stood for up to that date in 2001. Here we sit in 2008 with an energy crisis and no plan, the economy is tanking, real wages are in decline for those most in need.  We have a reputation as a torturer and invader of sovereign nations without provocation, as a killer of thousands of innocents because we are worried about our gluttonous need for oil. We have a government willing to spy on its own citizens. It seems that anything goes unless it is for the common good of either our own citizens or those of other nations.

To me, patriotism is loving our country enough to expect more than we are currently getting out of our national leaders. Thinking everything the government does is wonderful isn’t patriotism, it’s just being lazy, uninformed, and afraid to think about our responsibilities in the world. There has to be a better way for us to share our space on this planet. It seems, however, that we’d rather seal the borders … except for unloading oil tankers or shipping stuff to China … and tell the rest of the world what to do while not realizing we have lost our voice.

Nevertheless, I love that flag and all that it has stood for and can stand for. This time will pass, but we will be damned lucky if we escape the foolishness of these past eight years.

I’m just a guest anywhere on this planet

June 22, 2008

Time to reflect in an environment constantly reminding me of its dominance, its unpredictability, and that I am really just a guest in nature, is a gift. Actually, I’m just a guest anywhere on this planet, but in modern cities there is an illusion of being insulated from the overwhelming power of natural forces.

Being on the shore of a large lake in the north woods brings an exposure to nature from several aspects. Power is easily interrupted on a day of severe winds when power lines run for miles through the woods. No electricity quickly means no water for a waterwell-supported dwelling. Temperature in the main cabin begins to drop as the electric baseboard heaters cool.

We had never seen a steady 30-40 mph wind straight off of the lake before. Waves were crashing over the entire dock. Some nearby docks were dismantled and floated by in sections. A large panel of wood decking would not be good jammed up against any object, and we cheered each panel as it went under and between the legs and structure of our dock.

Everything gathered further down the shore, and a couple of days later, on a calm and sunny day, a young man was seen towing the dock pieces back to where they came from.

The power was off from 2:30 in the afternoon until midnight. Going to bed early under four blankets was a good idea. I awoke briefly after midnight  to see a table lamp on. We called the power company the next morning to voice our appreciation for the line crews. The rest of the morning was spent picking up twigs, limbs and leaves from the driveway and the yard. Leaf fragments were plastered everywhere and needed to be brushed away before they were glued to whatever surface they landed on.

A whole day with no wind was a relief and very, very restful.

A significant emotional event

May 25, 2008

Reprogramming the body, mind, and spirit doesn’t seem to take very long. A significant emotional event such as our family’s heart episode two weeks ago will usually do it.

This morning in church, a woman two pews in front of me began having difficulty of some kind. I couldn’t tell if she was dizzy, short of breath, having chest or abdominal pains. A few parishioners began tending to her. I assumed they were doctors and/or nurses.

Before long she was stretched out on the pew; sirens could be heard outside; a police woman followed by two EMTs came down the aisle.  Our pastor came to anoint her.

By the time she was taken away, my entire upper body was drenched in perspiration. All I did was observe, but the impact on me physically and emotionally was pretty intense. I do hope she is OK, and that she found the help she needed.

Oh well, it’s almost over

May 23, 2008

Next February is the long-awaited conversion to HD and digital TV. Today, I cashed in my two $40 government issued coupons toward the purchase of two digital/analog converters. I’m already suspicious. When does the government mandate something and then help us pay for it? Is somebody’s brother-in-law making these things? Whatever.

Being an antenna “holdout” is an experience. I expect, however, to see a cable bill for gasoline tradeoff anytime now. Our neighborhood still has a practice of antennae hooked to chimneys … which is a good thing. In our case, we don’t have much of an attic to do any maneuvering. It is difficult enough to get a proper signal for all the channels as it is even when you can see what you’re doing. Small blessing.

On another subject. Each time I see a W04 sticker on the back window of an automobile, I can’t resist trying to get a peek at the driver. A 2000 campaign sticker I can understand, but one for the 2004 election? Perhaps there are localized news blackouts or some simply don’t listen to the radio or watch TV much, or have any expectations as Americans in the world. Or maybe it’s back to that yellow dog on a ticket type of thing. I know the ticket won, but the temptation to examine each perpetrator is strong indeed. Oh well, it’s almost over.