Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Estrangement

August 24, 2017

Heartache
Emerges unsummoned
From the subconscious
Takes up residence
Down low
In the stomach
Until
Nothing else matters

A simple question,
“What’s wrong?”
Brings a flood of tears
Washing away
Much of the ache
Leaving behind
Deep sorrow
Confusion, longing

©2017 Thomas W. Cummins

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I am fearful, sometimes

October 23, 2014

—∞—

At a certain age, I believe
I am standing at a trailhead
Stretching out under my feet
That final path curves out of sight
A hush surrounds
Slowly
I move forward
Uncertain, drawn
Pushed?

Or at the end of a hallway
Long empty walls
No color
No windows
No sound
But echoes poised
My own footsteps
My own breath
For now

Perhaps on a dark desert road
Nothing visible
Beyond the headlights’ arc
No trees
No roadside brush
No stars
Behind, total darkness
Ahead on the horizon a faint glow
Out of reach

Recent health issues
Found me fearful
Anxious
A sense of giving up
Complete surrender
Grudging acceptance
Not of my choosing
Alone
Very alone

It’s not that I’m afraid, per se
What’s next is not of my concern
But I am fearful, sometimes,
About persistent loss, now
Unresolved issues, now
A legacy of being misunderstood
Misunderstood to the point of
Not being loved, honored
Respectfully remembered

Time is running out
Not much to be done
Yet things have become undone
Time is running out
Loved ones unseen
Growing older
Old memories fading
New memories deferred
Or irredeemably lost

© 2014 Thomas W. Cummins

Everything will be okay

September 14, 2014

I wish, somehow, there was a way to put up sandbags against today’s flood of sadness

But through God’s grace, I know things will get better

Patience

Acceptance

Finding sustenance for my spiritual roots

To not get pulled down, dragged down, diminished by the careless behavior of others

My best friend is with me

Everything will be okay

We’ll get through this

Gentleness, kindness, understanding and forgiveness will prevail

Surrendering to the power of Wisdom

Perhaps letting go

A Cabin Breakfast

July 27, 2014

—∞—

image
 
Throwing a pattern
A window-paned pattern
For sixty years
The sun has been invited in
By the yellow Cosco table
Brightening a cabin breakfast

© 2014 Thomas W. Cummins

 

Just step back

March 21, 2014

Sometimes as the storm rages about us, it is necessary to step back … and wait … and content ourselves with just being a lightning rod. And to remember that the lightning rod isn’t causing the lightning, nor the lightning the storm.

So one waits for a pause, for a patch of clear sky to appear, a glimpse of the sun obscured for so long.

Trying to Connect

February 10, 2014

—∞—

Where do they go
When they are gone?
That place
That gives them space
 
No compass pointing
No path suggesting
Stars to guide – growing dim
Silence, emptiness, yet filled – with loss
 
I call out lovingly
Listen hopefully
No appeal goes forth
No response returns
 
For it is only my heart
Trying to connect
Forgetting, actually,
Prayer
 

© 2014 Thomas W. Cummins