Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Aspects of Loneliness, No. 5

September 26, 2022

Who I am,
Where I am,
Entwined as one.

Where I am defining
Who I am.
Location, place,
Informed by time.
Time realized through age.
Age collecting fragments
Of time and place.

Who I am,
Where I am,
Entwined as one.

But disturbning time and place,
A disturbance infused with uncertainty,
Brings anxiety.
An uprooting from place.
Disturbed roots,
A feeling of loss.
Loss felt as loneliness.

Who I am,
Where I am,
Entwined as one.

New city, new job, new coworkers,
But no place to live.
No place to call home.
A house yet to be found.
Family anxious to join me.
Everything seems unreal, unsettled.

Who I am,
Where I am,
Entwined as one.

©2022 Thomas W. Cummins

*Aspects of loneliness

Aspects of Loneliness, No. 3

September 12, 2022

Long before any awareness
Even before I was aware of me
There were others
Asking nothing in return
Love and approval
Unconditional, unearned,
Came my way

Support and encouragement
Ensued for years
Most often taken for granted
Then suddenly through death
It all went away
Parents’ absence – real, palpable
Makes life seem lonely

©2022 Thomas W. Cummins

Aspects of Loneliness, No. 2

August 20, 2022

A lonely feeling
I don’t really miss anyone in particular
At least not at the level of awareness
Maybe there doesn’t need to be a personification of loneliness

There could just be a hole in my heart,
One that no longer aches
But has yet to begin to heal.
A grieving that is ever-present

A grieving for what?
A long hoped-for relationship?
Something from long ago that is unresolved?
Out of reach, inaccessible, unidentifiable,
Yet so real?

There is one I will miss
That will bring a deep loneliness 
A long marriage brings forth another presence
One beyond and outside either one of us
Yet in us together

©2022 Thomas W. Cummins

Shoes On The Radiator

February 23, 2021

I can still smell the snowmelt

After all these years

A childhood beckons, tugs

My memory opens and embraces

Soggy grass

Puddles in the street

Wet shoes

Stuffed with newspaper

Atop the radiator by the backdoor

The long uphill walk

July 28, 2019

Old lawn chairs at the lake
Circa 1946, after the war
Heavy, very heavy
Yet very comfortable

A reminder of my parents
Those chairs, their chairs
Brought to this cabin
For their 50s
Summer home

During the walk from the lakeshore
The long uphill walk
Midway from the lake to the cabin
Those chairs
A welcome respite

Sometimes I imagine
Mom and Dad
Sitting in those chairs
At night, overlooking the lake
Bathed in starlight

Their ashes are nearby


August 24, 2017

Emerges unsummoned
From the subconscious
Takes up residence
Down low
In the stomach
Nothing else matters

A simple question,
“What’s wrong?”
Brings a flood of tears
Washing away
Much of the ache
Leaving behind
Deep sorrow
Confusion, longing

©2017 Thomas W. Cummins