Archive for the ‘Ministry’ Category

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I can’t help but wonder

May 12, 2010

My Room 101 in hell will resemble a before-dinner reception at an out-of-town business conference.  There are few things I dread more than walking into a room full of strangers for drinks, hors d’oeuvres, and small talk. Am I an introvert? You bet!

Naturally, I can’t help but wonder how or why I ever got started in prison ministry. Walking into a solitary confinement wing of 30-36 men, each one out of sight behind a solid steel door with a tiny window, has never been easy.

As I approach each door, I don’t know what to expect: what does he look like, where is he  from, how long has he been in prison, why is he  in solitary confinement. That I am extending myself beyond my comfort zone is an understatment.

It’s even worse when I haven’t gone to the prison for an extended period of time. When I went down yesterday, it had been 5 weeks. The longer I am away, the more detached I feel … almost to the point where I feel I don’t belong, that I don’t fit in. I experience a slight disorientation. Anxiety and discomfort begin to surface as I enter the prison.

On the other hand, setting foot in those housing units got me back into the game. Once I got going, was standing at the first cell door, became engaged in the first conversation, things smoothed out.

During an extended absence, I miss doing the work. I miss the ministry. I miss connecting with the men.

I’m glad to be back although the summer schedule does get a little fragmented and there will be more gaps in my visiting. When I’m not going to the prison on a regular basis, something is missing in my life.

I find little joy in just keeping busy; I need something to do, something that makes a difference in my life and the lives of others.

One offender said that he had never thanked me for the bookmark with the prayer of St. Ignatius of Loyola. I’m guessing I gave that to him a year ago. That’s why I go, to bring my presence or anything else to help add a little meaning to a pretty bleak existence.

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Yes, it is easy to become distracted

May 2, 2010

In this morning’s New York Times is an article by Nicholas Kristof which is one of the more thoughtful reflections on the Catholic Church today I have ever read. He speaks so well about the true church, the people, and the relentless efforts by many day after day to fulfill our baptismal obligations, to care for the poor and others in need, to love one another.

Yes, it is easy to become distracted by the betrayal we have been (and continue to be?) subjected to by the clerical hierarchy of the church. But the people I minister to, men in maximum security prisons, aren’t concerned with what goes on in diocesan offices or in the Vatican. If the pope and all the bishops were to drop dead, their lives wouldn’t change; their hunger and need for encouragement, support, and spiritual sustenance wouldn’t be diminished.

When I am standing at a cell door, the temporal presence of the Roman Catholic Church exists in only two people: me and the man on the other side of the door. Building the kingdom, proclaiming the good news, is  a “now” phenomenon taking place at the micro level in millions of instances every second of the day all over the world. What the pope or bishops think or declare about anything isn’t really part of the picture. It seems that the work of the church goes on in spite of them rather than because of them.

That’s an unfair statement. The deposit of faith has been developed, clarified, and passed down throughout the centuries by the same type of people who seem so out of touch today. But what they do and what they teach are two separate things. Once the sheep learned to read, things began to unravel.

The gospel message began to be seen more clearly as getting lost in all the pomp, rituals, as well continued bogus claims about the origins of some of our sacraments. Elaborate schemes to maintain any and all vestiges of power while suppressing  prophetic voices questioning the mythology, are becoming more and more visible and, naturally, more repulsive.

Going through the Vatican museum a couple of weeks ago, I noticed my pace quickening as the reality of that whole farce sank in further and further. How did such a  self-serving charade ever get started? Certainly not from the gospels, the teachings and practices of Jesus.

We humans seem to be unimaginative when it comes to conferring importance on things or people we hold dear. Sacred objects need to be gold. Monuments to saints – even those dedicated to living with and for the poor – are soaring, domed, cavernous structures filled with marble masterpieces, vast frescoes and mosaics, and paintings by the masters. All priceless stuff.

Leadership of our faith tradition are given a hierarchical structure, titles, positions of power, fine places to live. Then, of course, they develop their own laws, norms of behavior, rules of obedience and secrecy, and declarations of infallibility  to keep those under their spiritual care out of the sanctuaries and where they belong.

Read the Kristof article if you can find the time.

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Goodness among the distastefulness

March 22, 2010

Over this past weekend we watched “Longford” starring Jim Broadbent as Frank Pakenham, the 7th Earl of Longford. Lord Longford spent several decades trying to secure the release of Myra Hindley, one of the two notorious serial killers convicted of  the Moors Murders in the mid 60s.

I haven’t seen Broadbent in any movie where he wasn’t superb. This portrayal was particularly riveting. The movie’s content, based on true events, was completely unknown to us.

On the surface, Lord Longford appears to have been obsessed, driven, and easily taken for a fool in his quest for the parole of Ms Hindley. Upon further reflection, however, it would seem he was merely acting on his moral convictions as we are all called to do.

His unconditional willingness to engage, embrace, and forgive those on the fringe of society, even those who have done great evil, and to find some goodness in everyone, was a strong expression of his Christian faith. The fact that this appears to be foolish behavior is, perhaps, a commentary on our secular culture’s frequent indifference toward and avoidance of those who are down-trodden, society’s throwaways.

He goes back to the cause for Hindley’s release again and again following instances of personal abuse, derision, and deception. Hopes rise, are dashed, and rise again. I don’t know what he was feeling in those moments, but I have a pretty good idea.

When I began my prison ministry, I was told my role was to be a non-judgmental, non-critical, loving presence. That presents a never-ending challenge. I’m not always that successful in any given moment, some of the men I see are quite distasteful and unlikeable, but I do keep going back to the same people. And I have found over the weeks, months, and years, that any distaste and dislike can – with persistence and repetition – gradually transform into the beginnings of affection, affection in brotherhood and solidarity with a child of God.

It is liking them in their unlikableness, finding a fragment of goodness among the distastefulness. Of course, it’s also realizing/remembering that my finding someone to be unlikable doesn’t mean they aren’t likable. My perceptions are usually what need the work rather than anything to be done by an offender or by anyone else. Trying to recast someone as I would like them to be is always a hopeless adventure no matter how great the temptation.

I do recommend the movie, especially for those involved in prison ministry.

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Maybe on Thursday

February 8, 2010

Just the threat of snow can keep me from going down to the prison. My worries don’t lie in my being able to drive well, but in what I’ve seen of other drivers. The day after a good snow, the ditches are populated by the cars of those in a hurry, with bald tires, lacking good judgment, or feeling invincible with all-wheel drive.

Work as a volunteer prison chaplain is not urgent work; it just needs to be fairly steady. The men actually worry about my traveling back and forth as it is. My taking chances would not be appreciated.

Maybe on Thursday.

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Which is more laughable?

February 6, 2010

Talk about a pendulum swing during this snowy Saturday!

The morning began with an opportunity for me to speak to a church group about the death penalty. This particular group meets once per month for an 8:00 pro-life Mass followed by a meeting. They had not covered the topic of capital punishment, at least not recently.

A few parents, who have sons on death row, were there on behalf of the Missourians for Alternatives to the Death Penalty (MADP). The general discussion went very well with thoughtful questions and a sincere interest to learn more. Literature with information and website URLs was made available. One site they were encouraged to visit is the Death Penalty Information Center.

So, later in the day I received an email notice of a posting in NCRonline referring to former President George W. Bush’s receiving a pro-life award from a group of Catholic business men. I don’t know which is more laughable, Bush being seen as pro-life, or Catholic business men believing Bush’s behavior to be pro-life.

The Catholic Church sure has gotten into a rut. Seldom is there a public face put on anything other than abortion or stem cell research. There is, or course,  an occasional article on Catholic social teachings and social justice issues in archdiocesan papers, but that is not what I would call public dissemination. I don’t even know many Catholics who read them.

More needs to be done. Voices need to be raised. Besides pedophilia and abortion, I wonder what the public image is for the Catholic Church of the 21st century. Thank goodness for the Catholic Relief Services (CRS). They can single-handedly give the Church a good name.

I can’t help but believe that if a symphony orchestra played one note all evening, people would be walking out throughout the entire performance … and some rather early too. It is of little surprise, then, that people are drifting away from the Catholic Church.

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What a treat!

February 1, 2010

On Thursday, January 21, we headed for a conference in Albuquerque, New Mexico, presided over by Richard Rohr of the Center for Action and Contemplation. I had heard Fr. Richard  speak in 2006 at a Catholic Coalition on Preaching convocation in Fort Lauderdale.  This seemed like a good opportunity to see and hear him once again. This time, however, it would not be seeing him as a guest speaker, but at a weekend event of his own design with content of great interest to me.

This conference was entitled, Following the Mystics Through the Narrow Gates. A note on the website says, “Seeing God in all things and all things in God, we experience the peace that surpasses understanding”. My bookshelf is filled with attempts to tune into the general message the mystics attempt to convey. I have books on, or by, Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross, Julian of Norwich, Thomas Merton, the anonymous author of The Cloud of Unknowing.  But my main intention was to gain a greater insight for my prison ministry.

The men I see each week, those in solitary confinement, are very aware of a divine presence in their spare lives. Attempts to be free from the distractions and temptations of everyday life are not of much concern for them. Everything has been taken away. Their rooms are devoid of any and all uplifting content, things to occupy their minds. There is plenty of time for reflection, and plenty of time for despair.

So I was anxious to go and didn’t know what to expect. Shortly after having registered in November, I did notice on their website that the conference was sold out. This was good news to me since there would be much interaction and discussion among the 150 to 200 in attendance. Upon arrival, I learned there were 1200 in attendance! Unexpected and exciting.

The schedule indicated sessions/presentations would be alternating between Richard Rohr and James Finley, about whom I knew absolutely nothing. What a treat! Anytime one can feel they’ve gotten their money’s worth in the first few minutes of a three-day conference, it is a real bonanza. I also came home feeling very uplifted in our faith tradition.

Once the post-conference materials are available, I’ll try to distill the whole works into smaller portions I can share.

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